Finale

finals have begun. i had my piano jury today. my (beethoven's...) bagatelle went well. overall the performance was only satisfactory. actually no it wasn't. not for a piano performance major. i really have got to decide to do this with all my might, or find something else. which at this point, finding something else isn't looking so hot. becoming an amazing pianist would be wonderful. i think what i'm beginning (finally???) to realize is that it isn't just a game anymore. it's for real. or it should be. it must be. why is it that the important things in life require your everything, or they're worthless? and why can't i buckle down and give it my everything! actually, i can. i WILL. i hope i can take to heart the spiritual lesson too. here's a verse that steve used just yesterday, which i found encouraging. thank god for his grace. he doesn't make it easy for us, but he helps us persevere and gives us the strength we need:

"Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and stand he will, for the Lord is able to make him stand." Rom. 14:4