Sightings of the Day
the sightings i'm referring to are actually from yesterday. you are not going to believe what i saw. well, actually, if you're from the east texas area you might believe it, but i have certainly never seen this before. any more sensitive readers let me caution you that this is sort of crude. ah, it hardly merits a warning. i dunno. just be aware. if you're really concerned just skip this next paragraph which is separated.
so what do you do to your truck to make it a little more manly? or maybe a lot more manly. apparently, if you're one particular fella in nacogdoches, with a jacked-up old bronco, complete with fat knobby mud tires, the answer is simple... he decided to hang a humongous set of very real looking, skin-colored testicles from the back bumper between the tires!!! is this outrageous or what?!? i mean, we're talkin' 3000 lb bull stuff goin' on. now he just needs a "keep nacogdoches weird" bumper sticker (upside down) to be complete. ah, the things people do for attention never cease to amaze and amuse me.
i guess the other humorous sighting of the day pales in comparison. but i'll share it anyway. we were in wal-mart (excavating many treasures and munchies from that fearful labyrinth) and i noticed a largish pile of empty palates stacked on some sort of a cart. as i cast a glazed eye over them, one in particular caught my eye. it had stenciled and burned onto it the words "sweet darling." eh?? i'm trying to think... is this some kind of merchandise? is there some skillful pallet maker with a secret lover in the wal-mart stocking department?
at work the other day, i was chopping little notches in long metal strips we use for making letter cases (a process i think i may have already mentioned). since i was doing them by myself i guess i had nothing better to do (meaning with my remaining faculties while the rest of my being was engaged in mind-numbing chomping) i counted how many little toofers each metal strip got. if i made them even, every one had almost exactly 200. blah. *chop...chop...chop...* one notch at a time. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! am i going crazy? at least this time i only had to do seven strips. sadly, i was quickly sobered up by one of the vise clamps coming undone, presumably because of the hammering vibrations it was experiencing. it came crashing down on my ankle with all the steel malice it could muster. i immediately yelped, picked up the injured limb with both hands and went bounding around the thankfully empty shop howling and frothing at the mouth, i guess like a maniacal one-legged jack rabbit.
i have another story for you too, from the "archives" of allied adventures, but the publication date has not yet been determined. probably something like, tomorrow. no sense in telling you everything now! stay tuned, "sweet darlings," more is on the way!
now let me see if i can find an interesting word of the day... ah yes, perfect. and an excellent sentence.
fatuous \FACH-oo-uhs\, adjective:1. Inanely foolish and unintelligent; stupid.2. Illusory; delusive.
No enquiry, however fatuous or ill informed, failed to receive his full attention, nor was any irrelevant personal information treated as less than engrossing. --Michael Palin, Hemingway's Chair
so what do you do to your truck to make it a little more manly? or maybe a lot more manly. apparently, if you're one particular fella in nacogdoches, with a jacked-up old bronco, complete with fat knobby mud tires, the answer is simple... he decided to hang a humongous set of very real looking, skin-colored testicles from the back bumper between the tires!!! is this outrageous or what?!? i mean, we're talkin' 3000 lb bull stuff goin' on. now he just needs a "keep nacogdoches weird" bumper sticker (upside down) to be complete. ah, the things people do for attention never cease to amaze and amuse me.
i guess the other humorous sighting of the day pales in comparison. but i'll share it anyway. we were in wal-mart (excavating many treasures and munchies from that fearful labyrinth) and i noticed a largish pile of empty palates stacked on some sort of a cart. as i cast a glazed eye over them, one in particular caught my eye. it had stenciled and burned onto it the words "sweet darling." eh?? i'm trying to think... is this some kind of merchandise? is there some skillful pallet maker with a secret lover in the wal-mart stocking department?
at work the other day, i was chopping little notches in long metal strips we use for making letter cases (a process i think i may have already mentioned). since i was doing them by myself i guess i had nothing better to do (meaning with my remaining faculties while the rest of my being was engaged in mind-numbing chomping) i counted how many little toofers each metal strip got. if i made them even, every one had almost exactly 200. blah. *chop...chop...chop...* one notch at a time. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! am i going crazy? at least this time i only had to do seven strips. sadly, i was quickly sobered up by one of the vise clamps coming undone, presumably because of the hammering vibrations it was experiencing. it came crashing down on my ankle with all the steel malice it could muster. i immediately yelped, picked up the injured limb with both hands and went bounding around the thankfully empty shop howling and frothing at the mouth, i guess like a maniacal one-legged jack rabbit.
i have another story for you too, from the "archives" of allied adventures, but the publication date has not yet been determined. probably something like, tomorrow. no sense in telling you everything now! stay tuned, "sweet darlings," more is on the way!
now let me see if i can find an interesting word of the day... ah yes, perfect. and an excellent sentence.
fatuous \FACH-oo-uhs\, adjective:1. Inanely foolish and unintelligent; stupid.2. Illusory; delusive.
No enquiry, however fatuous or ill informed, failed to receive his full attention, nor was any irrelevant personal information treated as less than engrossing. --Michael Palin, Hemingway's Chair
posted by quirky at 4:23 PM
4 Comments:
Believe it or not, I have seen a pair of those things tied to the hitch of a pickup while riding around with my honeybunchies. I thought maybe it was something else at first, but then...I realized it and-eww! And I've seen a lot of weird things...I mean, I am from that town that invented the "Keep ____ Weird" slogan now. Sigh. East Texas....aw man.
All your little stories did brighten up my day!! Made me remember how much I miss all yall!
(^o^) Yes, I've witnessed a "chrome"-plated...uh..."set" of which you speak dangling from some poor soul's hitch.
I say "poor soul" because it's so painfully obvious that he is trying very hard to compensate for something which he does not already have. (^_-)
But you have it all beat when it comes to the pallet story!! LOL!! We see hundreds of pallets a day where I work, but THAT is definitely a new one!
Thanks for the laughs!
wow, so other people have seen these things. even chrome plated ones! haha! you do have to wonder why someone would do all that...
[quote]I say "poor soul" because it's so painfully obvious that he is trying very hard to compensate for something which he does not already have.[/quote]
Hahahahaha
Post a Comment
<< Home