Mr. Camel
let's step into the office and go to the phones for a bit.
*riiiiiiiiiiing... riiiiiiiiing... riiii....*
"allied sign builders, this is jordan."
"this is [impatient woman], is dale there?"
"no, i'm sorry, he's out on an install, can i take a message for him?"
"yes, i would appreciate it if you would tell him i called this time. if you don't, trouble will arise."
"uuuhh, yes mam. i'll be sure to do that." ( :-o
*riiiiiiiiing... etc*
"allied sign... etc" yeah, me and the phone, the customers have come to an understanding. we're just like, "ring ring yadda yadda, do i have to repeat myself?" and "allied... do i have to say my name again? i stutter when i say 'this is jordan' real fast." as for the customers, they just dispensed with the preliminary congenialities typically associated with opening a conversation. aaaanyway... i just answered the phone...
"...this is jordan *stutter stutter*"
"hey uh... yeah. this is greg camel. is dale in?"
"greg who?"
"camel. C-A-M-E-L."
"ok greg, i'm sorry but dale's not in right now, can i take a message?"
"yeah, i was wondering if i could get a quote for repairing a broken camel toe."
"for a WHAT??"
"a BROKEN CAMEL TOE."
"uuuuuh *laughing*..."
it was clay.
but the fun doesn't end there... we were busy as bees between answering phone calls. john and roger and i were just standing there chatting...i mean... cutting some vinyl. while we're... cutting vinyl... roger ("the big man") is fidgeting with the handle on the desk drawer, and he happens to be talking too. all of a sudden he turns around and starts muttering things under his breath, things which we shan't repeat on this family friendly blog. turns out he pushed his middle two fingers down into the handle and they wouldn't come back out! fortunately he didn't panic and go ballistic, but he did start pulling and wiggling. his fingers were turning all red and getting swollen. so we pulled the drawer out and set it on the table, where roger dutifully followed. then we got out the screw drivers and proceeded to disassemble the drawer from the inside. once we got enough layers of wood out we could unscrew the handle and release him. i couldn't help but laugh at him every time he glanced furtively out the window to see if anyone was coming who might see him while he was still in his compromised position.
dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination.2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.
I am inclined to be dilatory, and if I had not enjoyed extraordinary luck in life and love I might have been living with my mother at that very moment, doing nothing. --Carroll O'Connor, I Think I'm Outta Here
*riiiiiiiiiiing... riiiiiiiiing... riiii....*
"allied sign builders, this is jordan."
"this is [impatient woman], is dale there?"
"no, i'm sorry, he's out on an install, can i take a message for him?"
"yes, i would appreciate it if you would tell him i called this time. if you don't, trouble will arise."
"uuuhh, yes mam. i'll be sure to do that." ( :-o
*riiiiiiiiing... etc*
"allied sign... etc" yeah, me and the phone, the customers have come to an understanding. we're just like, "ring ring yadda yadda, do i have to repeat myself?" and "allied... do i have to say my name again? i stutter when i say 'this is jordan' real fast." as for the customers, they just dispensed with the preliminary congenialities typically associated with opening a conversation. aaaanyway... i just answered the phone...
"...this is jordan *stutter stutter*"
"hey uh... yeah. this is greg camel. is dale in?"
"greg who?"
"camel. C-A-M-E-L."
"ok greg, i'm sorry but dale's not in right now, can i take a message?"
"yeah, i was wondering if i could get a quote for repairing a broken camel toe."
"for a WHAT??"
"a BROKEN CAMEL TOE."
"uuuuuh *laughing*..."
it was clay.
but the fun doesn't end there... we were busy as bees between answering phone calls. john and roger and i were just standing there chatting...i mean... cutting some vinyl. while we're... cutting vinyl... roger ("the big man") is fidgeting with the handle on the desk drawer, and he happens to be talking too. all of a sudden he turns around and starts muttering things under his breath, things which we shan't repeat on this family friendly blog. turns out he pushed his middle two fingers down into the handle and they wouldn't come back out! fortunately he didn't panic and go ballistic, but he did start pulling and wiggling. his fingers were turning all red and getting swollen. so we pulled the drawer out and set it on the table, where roger dutifully followed. then we got out the screw drivers and proceeded to disassemble the drawer from the inside. once we got enough layers of wood out we could unscrew the handle and release him. i couldn't help but laugh at him every time he glanced furtively out the window to see if anyone was coming who might see him while he was still in his compromised position.
dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination.2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.
I am inclined to be dilatory, and if I had not enjoyed extraordinary luck in life and love I might have been living with my mother at that very moment, doing nothing. --Carroll O'Connor, I Think I'm Outta Here
posted by quirky at 7:16 PM
9 Comments:
totally. i forgot to mention another dear caller. he's all, "...hepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromised and i'm tired of this BS!" i think i might have clicked my heels together, if i wasn't laughing at him. is it weird that the second time he said it, i counted how many times he had been promised??... it was 8.
Sometimes I am afraid I'll forget and answer my cell phone with, "Reading room this is Abbey."
But so far I havent....
getting the perfect phone voice is tricky...
PS. I TOTALLY understand poor Roger's pain...when I had my arm stuck between the bed...I seriously wondered what I must have looked like, my legs flailing, my butt sticking up...couldnt have been good.
*chuckles* yeah, that must have been hilarious. i'm still a little curious as to exactly how you were able to do that.
why am i still on here?? it's like i'm just sitting here clicking on the comments every once in a while and responding. AAAGHHH!!! go to bed!
ROTFL! Okay, like I said back on John's blog...you guys are HOPELESS...amusing as all get-out, but hopeless!! And apparently that goes for more employees than just you two. Poor Roger! LOL!!
I guess I tend to stay at one job too long for my own good. Seems like anytime I'd start a new job, I was always answering the phone with the name of the PREVIOUS job! Highly embarrassing.
yeah, we are hopeless... roger even poked some red-hot welding wire straight through his hand.
and i have heard john answer the phone for fast signs with my own ears. lol.
i know exactly what you mean david, about not hearing clearly. if i don't hear after they tell me the first time, and then i still can't understand after they repeat it, i just get the number and run away.
why run away when you could hang up?
well, i already did that first
I think I should put my much saught-after opinions here and remind you guys that however inelegant asking and reasking people for stuff over the phone is, sometimes it is worse not to. I had a wonderful experience last night when Ben called up a few hours before we were going to go meet more friends and said, "Jennifer Enas called and said she can't come tonight."
And I had invited two Enas sisters, but neither of them are named Jennifer, so I had a really smashing time trying to figure out if both couldn't come or only one, or who was Jennifer and why on earth Ben couldn't have just written down what the lady said!
Now you are all enlightenend.
thank you so much for the enlightenment. however, when angry people will come and hunt you down, and say "are YOU the one who's been answering the phone??" when they see you, it can be dangerous to to anything to tick them off.
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