While We Were Eating...
sometimes there are things that you wish you had never seen. or occassionally you do things that you hope nobody else saw. you know what i'm talking about.
so last week i was eating in the cafeteria. obviously, since that's pretty much the only place i eat. "we" at my table were all just laughing and having a pleasant time. in the midst of the conversational pleasantness, i happened to look accross at the table next to us. my gaze was perfectly timed to catch the girl sitting there with her hands rested on the edge of the table clutching her utensils, lean forward, open her mouth, and dribble the entire contents of her mouth back onto her plate. obviously i was shocked and appalled and unable to move for several seconds.
then there was another anonymous person who sat right accross the table from me. throughout the meal i was mildly perturbed, facinated and concerned by and about the individual who appeared to be possessed of an eccentric personality, and who occassionally hunched down to the table level to better scrutinize his food, and mentioned giving up note taking for lent. after eating a portion of his meal, he took a large gulp of water and swished it around vigorously with his eyes balls bulging from his skull. then he reached into his backpack from whence he quickly extracted a toothbrush and began scrubbing teeth, without paste, but with unsurpassed enthusiasm and stamina. lastly, him-who-cleans-his-chompers-at-the-table unabashedly flossed his teeth at our gathering of about 10 people. i didn't notice where he put the floss after he was done. nor did i shake his hand when i left.
when you have three tables stuck together end to end, it's sometimes hard to participate in all the conversations and jokes going around. but i do my best and try to at least listen for something that catches my fancy. so there i was, munching my salad, and i guess someone told a funny joke. i really don't remember now. but i turned to my right to laugh at it/with everyone else who was laughing at it, just as the girl on my right turned to her left, and i immediately squirted pulpy greeness with ranch down the side of my chin. nice. what can you do? nothing. i look back to the left. she looks back to the right. rather quickly. and i go for the napkins.
pol·i·tesse ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pl-ts, pôl-)n.
Courteous formality; politeness: “the soul of uptown refinement and... politesse” (Russell Baker).
so last week i was eating in the cafeteria. obviously, since that's pretty much the only place i eat. "we" at my table were all just laughing and having a pleasant time. in the midst of the conversational pleasantness, i happened to look accross at the table next to us. my gaze was perfectly timed to catch the girl sitting there with her hands rested on the edge of the table clutching her utensils, lean forward, open her mouth, and dribble the entire contents of her mouth back onto her plate. obviously i was shocked and appalled and unable to move for several seconds.
then there was another anonymous person who sat right accross the table from me. throughout the meal i was mildly perturbed, facinated and concerned by and about the individual who appeared to be possessed of an eccentric personality, and who occassionally hunched down to the table level to better scrutinize his food, and mentioned giving up note taking for lent. after eating a portion of his meal, he took a large gulp of water and swished it around vigorously with his eyes balls bulging from his skull. then he reached into his backpack from whence he quickly extracted a toothbrush and began scrubbing teeth, without paste, but with unsurpassed enthusiasm and stamina. lastly, him-who-cleans-his-chompers-at-the-table unabashedly flossed his teeth at our gathering of about 10 people. i didn't notice where he put the floss after he was done. nor did i shake his hand when i left.
when you have three tables stuck together end to end, it's sometimes hard to participate in all the conversations and jokes going around. but i do my best and try to at least listen for something that catches my fancy. so there i was, munching my salad, and i guess someone told a funny joke. i really don't remember now. but i turned to my right to laugh at it/with everyone else who was laughing at it, just as the girl on my right turned to her left, and i immediately squirted pulpy greeness with ranch down the side of my chin. nice. what can you do? nothing. i look back to the left. she looks back to the right. rather quickly. and i go for the napkins.
pol·i·tesse ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pl-ts, pôl-)n.
Courteous formality; politeness: “the soul of uptown refinement and... politesse” (Russell Baker).
posted by quirky at 1:48 PM
2 Comments:
so i take it you don't appreciate some of these abnormal table manners? hmm... i should probably keep that in mind... other people might not like them either. but what if my teeth just feel REALLY gross???
you go to a modern-marvel plumbing facility called a "baaaaathroooom" and do it in private.
Post a Comment
<< Home