The Love of God, How Rich and Pure
i feel a little bit bad about abandoning my blog this week. but there are other things in life. no? well, a few other things.
i've been thinking of something jeff said (last sunday i believe). he said he had sinned - something in particular. it wasn't because he didn't have the will power not to sin (triple negative? i think it came out right...). it wasn't because it was just "too much" and he couldn't handle it. "the love of christ was not in me to the fulness that it should have been." it grates me like a rusty file the way that happens so often with me. or maybe it doesn't so much, and it should. sometimes i fool myself by using my will power and physical strength to overcome things for christ, but it never lasts. the more i fight and the longer i wage war with the lusts of my flesh, the harder it gets until i give up. every time i crawl back to the cross i feel like a cowardly traitor to my lord. why is he always waiting with arms outstretched? how can he prepare a feast and a robe for a disgusting wretch who rejected him? i can't come close to understanding it, but i know his mercies are new every morning. his servants will stand, for he is able to make them stand. he raises the traitor from the muck to stand boldy before his throne to claim his promises in jesus' blood. oh god, make me love you the way i ought to love you.
i've been thinking of something jeff said (last sunday i believe). he said he had sinned - something in particular. it wasn't because he didn't have the will power not to sin (triple negative? i think it came out right...). it wasn't because it was just "too much" and he couldn't handle it. "the love of christ was not in me to the fulness that it should have been." it grates me like a rusty file the way that happens so often with me. or maybe it doesn't so much, and it should. sometimes i fool myself by using my will power and physical strength to overcome things for christ, but it never lasts. the more i fight and the longer i wage war with the lusts of my flesh, the harder it gets until i give up. every time i crawl back to the cross i feel like a cowardly traitor to my lord. why is he always waiting with arms outstretched? how can he prepare a feast and a robe for a disgusting wretch who rejected him? i can't come close to understanding it, but i know his mercies are new every morning. his servants will stand, for he is able to make them stand. he raises the traitor from the muck to stand boldy before his throne to claim his promises in jesus' blood. oh god, make me love you the way i ought to love you.
posted by quirky at 9:04 PM
8 Comments:
I don't very well know what would be best to say...except that I know I have often crawled back to Jesus, and I know He beckons home even "a wretch like me". How grateful I am...
Actually, my mother and I were sharing a conversation yesterday, along these same lines (because of our prodigal friend whose family we're trying to help right now). I've come to the conclusion that the heart of man is not able to struggle alone against sin; we are able to resist for just a little while, until either our emotions, prowess, or intellect eventually surrender to the sin of this world into which we were born. Is it a hopeless situation? No, my friend... "Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world", and He loves to redeem our maligned hearts. We must ask Him to cover us in Himself; in our submission to His lordship, we find the freedom of His redemption. Only He is strong enough, and I am more than willing to trust His might of righteousness and love.
I know you already know these things; they were just freshly on my heart this morning. Thank you for your honesty. We've all "been there", awaiting the grace of our Lord and Savior. I am blessed beyond measure because "I know that my Redeemer liveth..."
My Kinsman
In the darkness I await,
In need of saving grace.
Hope indwells my heart as I
Gaze on my Kinsman's face.
Here I bow down at His feet
And beg He make me free;
I know His love can cover,
And my soul He can redeem.
He hears my plea for refuge
And hastens at my cry;
With tenderness, He comforts me
That soon the sun will rise.
Though this darkest night
Leaves no hope that can be seen,
He is my Morning Star,
And my soul He can redeem.
I am willing to entrust
My destiny to Him;
For He is able to buy back
What has been sold to sin.
With His blood He ransoms all
My heart, though lost it seemed.
He is my gracious Kinsman,
And my soul He can redeem.
I can't tell you how many times I've written that myself. Why do I think I can do it alone? Can I not learn from the past?
Sweetness about the costume though. What all does he have?
I know, the nerve of me.
I'm working on it though. I need to call a dude and see if we are getting back that night or the next morning. I should have my license by then so maybe I could come back friday even if they don't.
The whole good voice thing is optional. And I'm sure whoever he is has a better voice than he lets on.
Amen brother!! I couldn't agree more!
i love and hate that i know and experience exactly what you wrote. i love that it's not just me struggling (of course i know everyone struggles, but oftentimes it is well hidden and i feel alone and overwhelmed) but i hate that i have been in that place so many times. it never ceases to amaze me that in spite of my pathetic inability to surrender to christ everything that is his and my continual failures, he is always patiently waiting for me and longing for closeness with me. we've been saved by an incredibly awesome god.
Woah.
If I were a guy, you'd be the guy I'd go to...you'd definately be my accountability buddy.
Wow Jordan, God can use you for sure. For serious, man. Talk like that more often.
I've been thinking along these lines lately too. Also thinking about being squeezed and what comes out, there's so little love in me, and even that little bit likes to stay at the bottem, and yuckiness spills out so easily. We aren't told to pour ourselves out as a drink offering because God wants to take what we can give, but so that He can get rid of what we are, and replace it with Himself. I pray that one day when you are squeezed, even the dregs will be beautiful, and I think that day will come, keep crawling back.
Anyway thanks for posting bout dis Bro, like Michelle said, you should post like that more often.
thanks for the encouragement guys. that is exactly what i want, namely, to have what i am replaced with himself. isn't it glorious that god uses the weak things of the world, and the things that are not? we have nothing to give him, nothing except everything he gave us, poured back at his feet.
Well said...
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