have you noticed, either in yourself or other people, the need for support in conversation? even if you one doesn't actually need it, we tend to look for it if it might be available. this is especially evident when talking amongst family and close friends, particularly between spouses. just in conversation last night i noticed myself looking at mom occassionally when i would say something, not because i had any doubt that it was true, but maybe just to see her agreement. i'm really not sure. same thing when she would say something and look at papa, or vice versa. and with steve and billie our guests there seemed to be a need of confirmation (pardon me, i hope you don't find it embarrassing that i would mention you in this discussion). so what do you think?
posted by quirky at 3:23 PM
4 Comments:
not really answering your question...but it just reminded me-
In NZ people have the habit of being "active" listeners...saying "yes", "yeah" and "uh-huh" almost constantly as someone spoke to them...at first It made me feel like I was being rushed...but after a while I got to really like it..it was like being constantly confirmed in a converation.
Yeah, I think making eye contact with those close to us communicates connectedness, inclusiveness.
It's a good thing.
I find myself needing this same "connectedness" in conversations. I have a terrible habit that I developed in my 20's of avoiding eye contact when *talking*, and yet I look for eye contact when I'm *listening*. Don't ask me where THAT came from...it's messed up.
But, to make this short...I find myself needing to see a person's face when they are speaking to me. Part of it may be from hearing loss incurred by too many gun range episodes without plugs. (9_9) The other part is this connectedness you're speaking of.
I am almost unable to communicate with people when I don't have my contacts in. Their faces are too blurry for me to see their expressions and I feel like I'm missing part of the conversation!! (^_^)
hey, thanks for the comments guys. though i am talking about looking specifically at close people as if for verification. like, looking at people you aren't actually talking to. but i definitely like to look people in the eye when i'm talking to them, and even more so when i'm listening. i hate it when the person listening to me never even looks. i imagine most people are like that.
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