WHO MADE THIS MESS?!? 

Day Two

this day was productive in some ways, and not so much in other ways. i'll just mention that i DID finish unpacking my room. the only thing left is putting up posters and stuff on the walls, and ever happens to be at wal mart at this very minute getting sticky tack for that. oh, also i still need to get rid of the boxes i packed stuff in. but they're empty at least. it's amazing how much more room it seems like we have in here. course, that's still a tiny amount of space.

btw, i am currently listening to a techno remix of ode to joy. weird. need i say more?

i totally freaked out about 5 minutes ago, when i got online to check on the sylabus for one of my classes. i accidentally looked at last semesters list first. for some reason one of them had a notice up, so i clicked on it. it said we had a macgamut assignment due on the 31st!!!! i was like, "AAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" but then i realized that it was jan 1st. whew. also i just found out that all of us in music literature with dr pitts are paying for three hours of credit, but the course only counts for 2 hours of credit for undergraduates. so supposedly i'm going to be able to get a one hour refund. buuuuuuuuuut, in my case, that would be perfect for sticking violin lessons into that slot and being all set to go!

oh, and speaking of being freaked out. i have officially developed my own fear and trembling for dr mann, or at least for the courses he teaches. just after hearing his intro to the class i practically got scared stiff at the descriptions of the amount of work we're going to have to do. i think the phrase he used most during our first day was, "and you will be expected to know..." and let me tell you, there was an extensive list. he even said that we should spend no less than 3 hours preparing for each class period. that's 6 hours a week!!!!!!! i fear that may be pyhysically impossible, even if i were that motivated. i guess i better get that motivated. bleh.

among other productive things of the day, i got a bunch of pictures burned onto cd's (mom, weren't you going to come and get them this evening????) and wrote an explication of my old poem. dr duncan couldn't figure it out either. ;-P i just wish i'd written it earlier before i forgot half of the things i'd originally intended.

well, tonight i'm going to do an amazing thing and get to bed at a decent hour. "see you" tomorrow. maaaan, i've been noticing it is harder to find funny stories to tell when i'm going to class than when i'm at work. actually, it shouldn't be that way. hmmmmmm. i'll have to be on the look out. well there is one thing. nope, that isn't going on here. guess you'll just have to wait.

fillip \FIL-uhp\, noun:1. A snap of the finger forced suddenly from the thumb; a smart blow.2. Something serving to rouse or excite; a stimulus.3. A trivial addition; an embellishment
transitive verb:1. To strike with the nail of the finger, first placed against the ball of the thumb, and forced from that position with a sudden spring; to snap with the finger.2. To snap; to project quickly.3. To urge on; to provide a stimulus, by or as if by a fillip.

"If any one in Mirgorod gives him a neckerchief or underclothes, he returns thanks; if any one gives him a fillip on the nose--he returns thanks then also." --Nikolai Gogol, "The Tale of How Ivan Ivanovich Quarrelled with Ivan Nikiforovich"

Beware the Snaggle-toothed Munchkin

this is one of my many bros, owen. don't get too close!

and this is just so you'll know he really isn't always so fearsome (though often) and give you a little better idea what he really looks like. 

People vs Animals?

this does just top all. when did people become as low, or lower than animals? how did the lines between a human with spirit, intelligence, and emotion and a beast become blurred? when i read this story i don't know whether to laugh or scream. the link will take you to fox news' "out there" story of the day. here're some quotes from the article:

"Seeing people in a different environment, among other animals ... teaches members of the public that the human is just another primate," she told the Associated Press.

Or, as the zoo's Web site put it, "the humans will become an important feature of zoo life as they are cared for by our experienced keepers and kept entertained through various forms of enrichment."

"A lot of people think humans are above other animals," said Tom Mahoney, 26. "When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we're not that special."

that makes me squirm. are you writhing now? cuz i'm writhing.

this is me realizing that this dorm is really basically going to be just like the other one. so yeah, hello, i'm here, at least i have high speed internet to be happy about, blablablah, etc... 

and this is me getting really excited about the new carpet, refrigerator, and microwave!! 

School. Woot!!!

amazingly enough, i'm almost back into the swing of going to class. i have already gone to all of today's, and gotten a couple hours of practice in. and guess what?? i got 8 hours of sleep last night. is that crazy, or what?? i didn't go running, as i had inteneded, but i did eat breakfast, get another book at the bookstore, have an good quiet time, and get to class early. tomorrow i'm going to hopefully get the jogging part going.

there is one unfortunate occurrence. for the last few months (since the end of the spring when i signed up for classes) i've been under the dilution that i was signed up for violin lessons. last night when i was rewriting my schedule in the most convenient format for me to keep up with, i realized that i am not signed up for said course at all! this was quite a shock since i was supposed to be getting my lesson time already, and had plans to take them full time. however, that wasn't part of my 17 hours. i still have that many, i just have one fewer class than i thought. so bleh. we've talked about a bunch of things. i may do some accompanying in exchange for lessons.

i best get off here and get back to work. there are definitely not going to be enough hours in the day.

unctuous \UNGK-choo-us\, adjective:1. Of the nature or quality of an unguent or ointment; fatty; oily; greasy.2. Having a smooth, greasy feel, as certain minerals.3. Insincerely or excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; marked by a false or smug earnestness or agreeableness.
A warmed, crusty French roll arrives split, lightly smeared with unctuous chopped liver. --John Kessler, "Meals To Go: Break from the routine with Hong," Atlanta Journal-Constitution, October 22, 1998

just because i'm so happy to beback on high-speed internet, and because i like this picture a lot (even though it's a bit grainy since i scanned it) i'm posting a photo!! woohoo! 

Blood Pumpin' and Paint Flowin'

here's one way to have a heart attack, which i experienced yesterday. that is, if you're the leaden foot type. did you know that if you wear size 14 you automatically are allowed to drive 10 mph faster than anyone else? anyway, i was going home at about 10:00, and the speed limit was of course reduced to 65 being night. i was cruising down a hill at about 72 or 73. then, just as i was going past an oncoming car i realized... IT WAS A PATROL CAR!!! and the way this was brought to my attention was by the explosion of blue lights in the lane next to me, just as i was passing him! i swear i was so stunned and startled and shocked and scared i almost said "shoot," when my eyes were seared by the blaze. well, actually i did say that, i just almost said something else. but i make it a point not to say that. anyway, i guess it's needless to say that i slowed down fast, and my jugulars were pounding. but apparently the colorful display was just a friendly reminder to ease off on the gas a li ttle, cuz he didn't chase me down. if that happens to me when i'm 65, i'm done for.

in other news, i took it upon myself to paint the middle of the concrete floor in the shop dark red. as the full bucket up paint was falling and rotating on its axis toward the floor, creating an impact point right on the lip of the lid, i suddenly decided i had changed my mind, and didn't want to paint the floor afterall. but it turns out i painted it anyway. but since i already had made up my mind not to, i had a lot of cleaning to do. the good news is, there's a very clean spot in the middle of a dirty shop floor. everyone who comes in admires it...

speaking of working (was i speaking of that?), today was the first almost miserable day in my experience at allied. it think it has something to with a) only having two more days (including today) and wanting to be through, b) 241 degree temperatures in the shade, and c) grinding aluminum with files and air sanders for 8 hours, and having aluminum dust alergy attacks. but seriously, i love my job dudes.

expatiate \ek-SPAY-shee-ayt\, intransitive verb:1. To speak or write at length or in considerable detail.2. To move about freely; to wander.
He had told her all he had been asked to tell--or all he meant to tell: at any rate he had been given abundant opportunity to expatiate upon a young man's darling subject--himself. --Henry Blake Fuller, Bertram Cope's Year

Chess Anyone?

nothing of import occurred at work today. except i lettered a logging truck cab. that was pretty cool.

but guess what? i think i'm about to enter CHESS FREAK mode AGAIN!!! don't be alarmed; this happens to me periodically. but lately, since john and i have been playing at work, and thomas and my brother just played at our house today, and then i played my brother this evening, i realized that i'm probably about to start reading chess books again. i'll be going crazy playing anybody i can kidnap who knows the rules, and reading strategies, replaying the masters "works of art" from old championship matches, and all that sort of thing. anybody up for chess? i will totally meet you at java jacks and play chess if you want to! aaaaanyway, since that's the only place to direct my freakedness at the moment, i thought i'd share it with you.

if you haven't seen the last post's comments yet, check out comments 4 and 5, as well as any comments others may have added since. it's quite interesting, and i want to hear more imput, if you're so inclined. actually, it's not quite interesting. but if you're geeky enough about words and definitions you might be entertained.

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.
"He died three years after me -- cancer too -- and at that time I was still naive enough to imagine that what the afterlife chiefly provided were unrivalled opportunities for unbeatable gloating, unbelievable schadenfreude." --Will Self, How The Dead Live

Tick, Tock, Tick...

i do believe that time is still on the move. only one week now until school starts. "are you psyched? you're psyched? good! cuz if you're psyched, you know i'm psyched!" ahem. sorry. i am looking forward to moving back to school. and you, dear reader, will be getting one particular benefit. have you guessed it yet? PICTURES!!! aha! so, even when i don't really have anything to say, at least i can share some little tid bit from summer, or some absurdity from the day's activities. wow. there is such a ton of stuff i could post. pictures i mean.

right now... hmmm. i did have a wonderful weekend. this is the first time in weeks that i've had a saturday off, and it feels like the weekend is just going on forever. and i mean that in a good way. last night i was thinking "i can't believe it's already over." then i realized that i still had a whole nuther day i didn't have to work. by the way, "whole nuther" is one of my favorite phrases.

anyway. be looking for pictures as early as thursday night. that being when the dorms open and i start moving in right after work. if anyone cares to help me carry loads of junk and computer equipment to the seventh floor of steen feel free to volunteer! (there is an elevator, by the way.) have as great week, and i'll see if i can't rummage up some more stories for ya.

vicissitude \vih-SIS-ih-tood; -tyood\, noun:1. Regular change or succession from one thing to another; alternation; mutual succession; interchange. 2. Irregular change; revolution; mutation.3. A change in condition or fortune; an instance of mutability in life or nature (especially successive alternation from one condition to another).
"This man had, after many vicissitudes of fortune, sunk at last into abject and hopeless poverty." --Thomas Macaulay

Mr. Camel

let's step into the office and go to the phones for a bit.

*riiiiiiiiiiing... riiiiiiiiing... riiii....*
"allied sign builders, this is jordan."
"this is [impatient woman], is dale there?"
"no, i'm sorry, he's out on an install, can i take a message for him?"
"yes, i would appreciate it if you would tell him i called this time. if you don't, trouble will arise."
"uuuhh, yes mam. i'll be sure to do that." ( :-o

*riiiiiiiiing... etc*
"allied sign... etc" yeah, me and the phone, the customers have come to an understanding. we're just like, "ring ring yadda yadda, do i have to repeat myself?" and "allied... do i have to say my name again? i stutter when i say 'this is jordan' real fast." as for the customers, they just dispensed with the preliminary congenialities typically associated with opening a conversation. aaaanyway... i just answered the phone...

"...this is jordan *stutter stutter*"
"hey uh... yeah. this is greg camel. is dale in?"
"greg who?"
"camel. C-A-M-E-L."
"ok greg, i'm sorry but dale's not in right now, can i take a message?"
"yeah, i was wondering if i could get a quote for repairing a broken camel toe."
"for a WHAT??"
"a BROKEN CAMEL TOE."
"uuuuuh *laughing*..."

it was clay.

but the fun doesn't end there... we were busy as bees between answering phone calls. john and roger and i were just standing there chatting...i mean... cutting some vinyl. while we're... cutting vinyl... roger ("the big man") is fidgeting with the handle on the desk drawer, and he happens to be talking too. all of a sudden he turns around and starts muttering things under his breath, things which we shan't repeat on this family friendly blog. turns out he pushed his middle two fingers down into the handle and they wouldn't come back out! fortunately he didn't panic and go ballistic, but he did start pulling and wiggling. his fingers were turning all red and getting swollen. so we pulled the drawer out and set it on the table, where roger dutifully followed. then we got out the screw drivers and proceeded to disassemble the drawer from the inside. once we got enough layers of wood out we could unscrew the handle and release him. i couldn't help but laugh at him every time he glanced furtively out the window to see if anyone was coming who might see him while he was still in his compromised position.

dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination.2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.
I am inclined to be dilatory, and if I had not enjoyed extraordinary luck in life and love I might have been living with my mother at that very moment, doing nothing. --Carroll O'Connor, I Think I'm Outta Here

The Shop's Latest

so what's new? nothing, i'm still working (just got home at 11:00). therefore, i will have to just tell about that. and about lunch, since that was almost funny. okay, never mind about work, i'm just going to tell about lunch, cuz i want to go to bed. plenty more about work later.

of course you know about burger king's little "have it your way" slogan. on the side of the cup it's all like, "you can have your drink with ice, without ice, with the cap securely fastened, or you can go topless. hmmm? or you can let your cup runneth over (we wish you wouldn't). but whatever you do, be sure to have it your way." so what particular point do you suspect caught my attention? me - "i'll take a double cheese burger meal with onion rings instead of french fries and a dr pepper without ice, and if you would, please let my cup runneth over." BK girl - "ok, your total will be $4.21, please pull forward." me thinks to myself - "wow, that was a really lame joke, and there wasn't even anyone in the car with me to laugh about it." but then when i got around to the window, there was my cup of dr pepper, with liquid coming out of every seam, bubbling out of the straw hole, and definitely squirting dangerously when squeezed. me - "uh... goodness... i didn't think you'd really do it." BK girl - "well, it's 'have it your way,' isn't it?" me - "um... heh... heh... thanks." i wonder if she was ticked off.

numinous \NOO-min-uhs; NYOO-\, adjective:1. Of or pertaining to a numen; supernatural.2. Indicating or suggesting the presence of a god; divine; holy.3. Inspiring awe and reverence; spiritual.
Smoking is a ritual, and it has all the numinous force of a ritual. --Thomas W. Laqueur, The New Republic, September 18, 1995

Hair Cuts

we've just been discussing hair cuts here in the kitchen, as my father is currently experiencing a trim under the skilled hands of madre. then we started talking about who cuts who's hair and how much money you can save by having your mother or wife cut it, and how if you get your hair cut all the time at one place they might think you died if you suddenly stopped coming.

i'm just curious, how many people have their hair cut by a family member? does your mom cut your hair? your wife? your DAD??? i haven't heard that one, but hey, men should theoretically be able to cut hair too. we tend to get a lot of practice on the bottom half of the face, just not the top of the head. anyway, as many of you know, i tend toward the "no haircut" plan. with this plan you spend almost nothing. i mean, what could possibly be cheaper than not spending any money?

HAHAHAHAHA!!! mom just said, "AGGHH!!! shoot!!!" papa instantly replied, "just buzz it." "AGGG!!! SHOOT!!!just buzz it." mom - "well, in a week it'll be fine." papa - "yeah, i'll just cancel my interview tomorrow because of a bad hair day."

anyway, that's your current events for the evening.

i like this word. except i really don't think it sounds like what it means. i just walked through the muggy, but not entirely unpleasant evening air, accross the lawn and stone walk way, with a skip in my step, a snap in my fingers, and a song breathing accross my lips, and i thought "schmaltzy." it sounds way too light hearted for it's literal meaning. maybe i shall just change the definition in my own mind.

schmaltz·y also schmalz·y ( P ) Pronunciation Key (shmälts)adj. Informal schmaltz·i·er, schmaltz·i·est
Of, relating to, or marked by excessive or maudlin sentimentality. See Synonyms at sentimental.
schmaltzi·ness n.

Through Fire and Tribulation

the self-styled "master welder" has encountered a minor accident. i'm embarrassed to admit it, but here's my confession: i set myself on fire.

i was just standing there happily welding behind that dark mask, oblivious to the world. the i suddenly realized that my left leg was feeling unusually warm, even for a 95* shop. i removed the mask and looked around confused. then, when i glanced down, i saw flames licking up my pants leg! my first reaction was to kick my leg, and then i stopped and i said, "self, what are you thinking? you IDIOT!" so, lacking water or blankets and stuff, my only option was to drop me britches. john was running to help, but then he was like, "hey dude, if yer takin' yer pants off, yer on yer own!" but no worries. i lost a couple of inches to the cuff of my jeans, destroyed a shoelace and melted part of the side of my shoe, and singed a few ankle hairs, but that's it. there's also a bit of melted plastic on the thigh of my pants. i guess they're officially work jeans now. so there's the truth, laid bare. it's not john who tries to burn the shop down, but me.

nugatory \NOO-guh-tor-ee; NYOO-\, adjective:1. Trifling; insignificant; inconsequential.2. Having no force; inoperative; ineffectual

Carmike What?

so we finally finished the carmike sign. it was going to be installed today, but a thunderstorm prevented that. tomorrow morning is its next scheduled time.

anyway, when dale called to find out if the neon was done, the guy said, "now how much of it do you need right away?" "all the stuff for the carmike sign." "what?? carmichael? how many letters are in carmichael?!?"

are there many people in this world who haven't ever heard of carmike theaters?

You Tell Me

the question of the day is: what is the difference between a kitchen sink, and a countersink?

Gross!

i've just been here wishing i could blog, but no. the power has gone out a couple of times here, and it messed up the computer. barring a trip to the library at a time when i had a couple of hours to do internet stuff, it just wasn't possible to be "in here" for the past several days. i know it's pathetic, but that's my excuse for blogosphere absenteeism. i did comment on the end of the last post, for those who had questions.

but basically i've just been working. however, i did think of a memory i could dig up for your amusement. it has to do with the infamous TD. now you foot ball freaks may need to be enlightened to the fact that td does not necessarily mean touch down. in this case it in fact stands for tasmanian devil, the owner of such title being a very large and unfriendly cat. this ferocious feline formerly belonged to my grandmother. the most likely cause for td's meanness was abusive treatment by my mother and her sister. even when they got older and didn't terrorize her anymore, td's revengful spirit would never rest. every day when they got home from school, she would come racing into the room and climb up their legs like a tree trunk with claws drawn. painful when wearing blue jeans... when wearing shorts...?!? this was a regular occurrence. i had a unique and unhappy encounter with her myself. if you follow the clues, you may notice that for me to have encountered this cat, it would have to be rather aged. at the point that i knew her, she rather resembled a certain grouchy fellow living in a trashcan, who you may remember from sesame street. one summer we were in grandma's (mimaw) apartment visiting. being a youngster in a small one bedroom living compartment, i was relegated to sleeping on the floor. one night as i was dozing (the moon covered by clouds, and not a cricket chirping...) td came creeping in to haunt me. i have no idea what i was dreaming of, but i was awakened to find her pirched on my chest peering down in my face. i was most definitely alarmed, but i refrained from the violent reactions that were welling up in me, and spoke pleasantly. "it seems you have a rather severe case of halitosis, miss td." it was at that moment that i discovered what her mission was. the heinous tasmanian devil had barfed everywhere. it was smeared all over my chest, neck, and face. as i listened to her satisfied smacking and squelching, i think a kind of horror and disgust i had never before even known came upon my 10 year old spirit. "YEE-AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" mimaw may have suspected that all hell had broken loose when i let out those violent reactions which simply could not be contained in that moment when i realized the true meaning of td's visit. i've never been the same since.

tasmanian devil
n : small ferocious carnivorous marsupial having a mostly black coat and long tail [syn: Tasmanian devil, ursine dasyure, Sarcophilus hariisi]

"Master Welder"

this evening i had my first actual welding experience. i think i mentioned some time ago having been shown how, but i never got a chance to practice or do any real welding. or fake welding. but today, dale went over it with john and me, and we put together some scrap pieces of steel. then at 3 john left, and dale took off shortly thereafter while i was in the middle of doing something. so, very briefly i was sitting twiddling my thumbs and thought, "hmmm, i've just done a darn good job of welding together these dinky little chunks of metal. i reckon i'll try my hand at the big stuff!" so i took the last of the metal and finished welding together the sign case that dale was working on. then i got all the pieces for the other half, which i had just cut a few minutes before, and completely put together the other half. so i guess i'll find out in the morning whether i did a good job or not. dale will be shocked and happy, or shocked and appalled. i hope the former.

circumlocution \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language.

In a delightful circumlocution, the Fed chairman said that "investors are probably revisiting expectations of domestic earnings growth". --"US exuberance is proven 'irrational,'" Irish Times, October 31, 1997